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MONTHLY LIFE HACKS
Feelings are not Facts.
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
A “fact” is data that is verifiable based on objective, independent and scientific standards. “Feelings,” while a part of being human, do not have to meet these objective criteria. The danger is treating feelings as facts as in doing so we eliminate the testing of our assumptions, conclusions which can lead to less than productive emotionally driven extreme behaviors such as murder. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not to their own facts.
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
When we use feelings as facts, we tend to cherry pick facts to back up our feelings and conclusions. This is called “confirmation” bias. Also, when we use feelings to test conclusions, our feelings make us unwilling to gather facts. From an evolutionary perspective, if you look at the structure of the brain the flight, fight or flee “limbic” system came first. Thereafter, man’s brain evolved the pre frontal cortex where rational thinking occurs. People who rely on their emotions and the initial limbic system reaction are only relying on half their brain power to succeed in the business of life.
Indifference to obstacles
The Danger of Using Feelings as Facts
Indifference to obstacles
Running a holiday sale or weekly special? Definitely promote it here to get customers excited about getting a sweet deal.
Get ready to get sweaty
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
Indifference to obstacles
It’s the power of perspiration. What we label as “stress” has essentially the same neurological signature as adrenaline. Combined with a constructive behavioral response, as adrenaline kicks in, our bodies start to generate the feel good hormones of endorphins, dopamine and serotonin.
Meaning Making Monkey Minds
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
Its our inner critic as its most connected to the ego and most easily distracted. We have unsettled, confused, restless monkey minds that generate about 100,000 thoughts a day which diminish our productivity and creativity. In order to shut down your monkey mind accept your thoughts cannot control your thoughts and just observe your thoughts as awareness. But also realize you are in full control of your “thinking.”
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
If its Mentionable, its Manageable.
Anything in our experiences is mentionable. Anything that is mentioned becomes more manageable. The more we talk about our frustrations, disappointments, life’s tragedy’s particularly those that generate feels of shame an humiliation the sooner we realize we are not alone in this word and the healing begins.
Enabling vs Helping
You can't control other people.
You can't control other people.
Helping is being there or doing something for someone that they cannot do for themselves. Enabling is doing something that they could or should do. Enablers avoid confrontations where helpers raise and address discruptive and unproductive behaviors. Enablers soften consequence whereas Helpers ensure consistent negative consequences. Enablers make excuses whereas Helpers guide toward accepting responsibility. Enablers avoid any changes whereas Helper communicate and expect behavioral expectations.
Helping helps. Enabling hurts.
You can't control other people.
You can't control other people.
You can't control other people.
You cannot control other people. But once you accept you cannot control other people you realize other people cannot control you.
Listening vs Hearing
You can't control other people.
Listening vs Hearing
The act of hearing is “being able to perceive with the ear the sound made by someone or something.” “Listening” generates a robust understanding, insights and reflection of thought exchange amidst effective engagement. Listening also captures a diversity of perspectives. Communities with vast differences of opinion are smarter than homogenous groups.
Equality vs Fairness
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
Listening vs Hearing
Equality means the exact balance of social, economic benefits. Fairness is being treating in a fair and just way. As long as everyone is given the opportunity to play by the same rules, there can be winners and losers as people have different skills and opportunity sets. People don’t expect equal outcomes. People want equal and fair treatment,
When we know better we do Better.
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
Its easy to cling to all the “knowing” you have. But when you “think” you know, you’ve just lost the ability to let your knowledge evolve, change and process productive outputs that contribute to your self actualization. What you “think” you know are not “truths.” Instead they are a data points that have been distorted which leaves you stuck. Your truths are just “possibilities.”
We do then, what we know how to do. Not that we know better, we can do better.
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
You're listening to "them" and they are listening to "them."
You’re listening to them and they are listening to “them.”
Conversations are a two way street not a monologue in the presence of another person. Yet how many times do we find ourselves in conversation where we’re just waiting for our chance to speak. Maybe people are not listening to you as you are not listening to them. Maybe they are listening to “them” as a function of their own mindset. Strive for asking questions and giving each other a chance to finish their thoughts based on each other’s learning styles.